Old Goat
Administrator
Ohm Lord, grant this congregation wet wicks, working equipment, and the ability to answer a simple question without opening a bloody symposium.
Foglords. Dripmonks. Pull up a chair.
I’ve been reading The Book of Thaddeus�. Our magnificently humble High Priest finds room for approved suppliers, compliance departments and sufficient personal recognition to require structural reinforcement.
Helping smokers gets shuffled towards the back.
Apparently escaping the Empire of Ash must wait until the paperwork has cleared.
That particular stupidity deserves more than a chuckle. Because you don’t need golden robes to repeat it. Sometimes all you need is a forum account and a strong opinion about coil wire.
Let us imagine a scene. This is a preacher’s illustration, congregation, before somebody starts hunting for the missing chapter.
An adult smoker arrives at the Temple of Advanced Puffery.
“I’d like to stop smoking,” he says. “Could somebody help me choose something straightforward?”
A reasonable request.
Naturally, the congregation takes immediate steps to complicate it.
The first Foglord asks whether he prefers mouth-to-lung, restricted direct-lung or direct-lung.
The newcomer says he prefers not coughing outside the office in the rain.
This answer is considered insufficiently technical.
A second expert arrives carrying a Sacred Mod approximately the size of a municipal generator. He explains that any serious convert must eventually understand coil geometry.
The newcomer asks where the juice goes.
“First,” says the expert, “we must discuss surface area.”
A third produces a chart.
Nobody asked for a chart.
Nevertheless, there is now a chart.
By lunchtime, the poor sod has been introduced to seven abbreviations, three arguments about cotton and a gentleman who believes anything manufactured after his favourite atomiser represents the collapse of civilisation.
The Bottle of Faith stands unopened.
The newcomer still doesn’t know how to fill his device.
Then somebody announces an entrance examination.
Section One: identify twelve wire types.
Section Two: explain why everybody else’s preferred airflow is wrong.
Section Three: write eight hundred words defending a custard.
A ceremonial gong is commissioned. The gong requires batteries. This starts another argument.
Outside, the newcomer reaches for his cigarettes.
Inside, the congregation congratulates itself on maintaining standards.
Now then.
What, precisely, have we achieved?
We have protected the sacred dignity of people who already know things. Splendid. Thaddeus would probably approve a subscription fee.
Meanwhile, the person who needed help is still standing outside with a lighter.
Imagine instead that one quiet Dripmonk gets up, walks past the chart and says:
“Show me what you’ve got. What’s confusing you?”
No examination. No sneering at the little pod. No demand that a stranger adopt somebody else’s hobby before tackling his own smoking.
They work through filling, charging and using the device according to its instructions. They check which replacement parts it takes. They discuss whether the draw suits him and where to get reliable help if cravings remain a problem.
The gong remains unpurchased.
Civilisation survives.
Here is the useful bit beneath the fog: help starts with the person’s problem.
Somebody asking how to stop smoking needs a manageable next step. They may eventually love rebuildables, mixing scales and arguing about vanilla. They may never want any of it.
Both outcomes are allowed.
For adult smokers choosing vaping, finding a suitable device and nicotine strength can take adjustment. Vaping is less harmful than smoking, but it is not harmless; the aim is to stop smoking completely. A qualified stop-smoking adviser can help when someone is struggling. That is practical support, not a test of character. NHS guidance explains the distinction plainly.� �
NHS
And if somebody returns saying, “This isn’t working for me,” our first response should be curiosity.
What device? Which coil or pod? What liquid? What happens when you use it? What is making cigarettes difficult to leave behind?
One useful question at a time.
Not twenty strangers prescribing their own favourite setup in increasingly capital letters.
We can teach battery safety without treating ignorance as a moral defect. We can explain priming without baptising someone in embarrassment. We can correct a mistake without making the person regret asking.
The old Bible gives us plenty of magnificent idiots to laugh at. The trick is noticing when we’ve started borrowing their trousers.
So this week, congregation, put the chart down occasionally.
Notice the person at the door.
Your knowledge should make their next step easier.
Thou shalt help thy neighbour put down the cigarette before demanding that he master the coil.
A-ohm.
Foglords. Dripmonks. Pull up a chair.
I’ve been reading The Book of Thaddeus�. Our magnificently humble High Priest finds room for approved suppliers, compliance departments and sufficient personal recognition to require structural reinforcement.
Helping smokers gets shuffled towards the back.
Apparently escaping the Empire of Ash must wait until the paperwork has cleared.
That particular stupidity deserves more than a chuckle. Because you don’t need golden robes to repeat it. Sometimes all you need is a forum account and a strong opinion about coil wire.
Let us imagine a scene. This is a preacher’s illustration, congregation, before somebody starts hunting for the missing chapter.
An adult smoker arrives at the Temple of Advanced Puffery.
“I’d like to stop smoking,” he says. “Could somebody help me choose something straightforward?”
A reasonable request.
Naturally, the congregation takes immediate steps to complicate it.
The first Foglord asks whether he prefers mouth-to-lung, restricted direct-lung or direct-lung.
The newcomer says he prefers not coughing outside the office in the rain.
This answer is considered insufficiently technical.
A second expert arrives carrying a Sacred Mod approximately the size of a municipal generator. He explains that any serious convert must eventually understand coil geometry.
The newcomer asks where the juice goes.
“First,” says the expert, “we must discuss surface area.”
A third produces a chart.
Nobody asked for a chart.
Nevertheless, there is now a chart.
By lunchtime, the poor sod has been introduced to seven abbreviations, three arguments about cotton and a gentleman who believes anything manufactured after his favourite atomiser represents the collapse of civilisation.
The Bottle of Faith stands unopened.
The newcomer still doesn’t know how to fill his device.
Then somebody announces an entrance examination.
Section One: identify twelve wire types.
Section Two: explain why everybody else’s preferred airflow is wrong.
Section Three: write eight hundred words defending a custard.
A ceremonial gong is commissioned. The gong requires batteries. This starts another argument.
Outside, the newcomer reaches for his cigarettes.
Inside, the congregation congratulates itself on maintaining standards.
Now then.
What, precisely, have we achieved?
We have protected the sacred dignity of people who already know things. Splendid. Thaddeus would probably approve a subscription fee.
Meanwhile, the person who needed help is still standing outside with a lighter.
Imagine instead that one quiet Dripmonk gets up, walks past the chart and says:
“Show me what you’ve got. What’s confusing you?”
No examination. No sneering at the little pod. No demand that a stranger adopt somebody else’s hobby before tackling his own smoking.
They work through filling, charging and using the device according to its instructions. They check which replacement parts it takes. They discuss whether the draw suits him and where to get reliable help if cravings remain a problem.
The gong remains unpurchased.
Civilisation survives.
Here is the useful bit beneath the fog: help starts with the person’s problem.
Somebody asking how to stop smoking needs a manageable next step. They may eventually love rebuildables, mixing scales and arguing about vanilla. They may never want any of it.
Both outcomes are allowed.
For adult smokers choosing vaping, finding a suitable device and nicotine strength can take adjustment. Vaping is less harmful than smoking, but it is not harmless; the aim is to stop smoking completely. A qualified stop-smoking adviser can help when someone is struggling. That is practical support, not a test of character. NHS guidance explains the distinction plainly.� �
NHS
And if somebody returns saying, “This isn’t working for me,” our first response should be curiosity.
What device? Which coil or pod? What liquid? What happens when you use it? What is making cigarettes difficult to leave behind?
One useful question at a time.
Not twenty strangers prescribing their own favourite setup in increasingly capital letters.
We can teach battery safety without treating ignorance as a moral defect. We can explain priming without baptising someone in embarrassment. We can correct a mistake without making the person regret asking.
The old Bible gives us plenty of magnificent idiots to laugh at. The trick is noticing when we’ve started borrowing their trousers.
So this week, congregation, put the chart down occasionally.
Notice the person at the door.
Your knowledge should make their next step easier.
Thou shalt help thy neighbour put down the cigarette before demanding that he master the coil.
A-ohm.